Home > The Wedding > The Best Man > Responsibilities
Responsibilities
“Only passions, great passions, can elevate the soul to great things.”
— Denis Diderot (18th century French philosopher)
Before The Wedding
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Groom roast.
Pay for Assist with the planning and cost.
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Bachelor party.
Pay Lead the planning and preparation.
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Get your attire.
Pay for all formal wear needed for the wedding (unless groom is providing).
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Buy car accessories.
Get items for decorating the bride and groom’s vehicle (unless it’s rented).
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Rehearsal dinner.
Attend the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner (usually with a significant other).
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Bring your driver’s license.
Assist groom with any Wedding Day and/or morning after transportation needs.
Wedding Day
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Prepare a snack bag.
This is something the bride & groom will really enjoy after the reception as they make their way to the hotel or airport (give it to the limo driver or personally place it in their vehicle).
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Pack emergency items for him:
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Allergy medicine
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Antacid
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Aspirin
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Band-aids
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Breath mints
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ChapStick
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Comb
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Cough drops
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Cuff links
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Dental floss
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Deodorant
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Disposable camera
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Duct tape
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Extra long boutonniere pins
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Eye drops
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Hair gel
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Hand-held fan
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Insect repellent
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Kleenex
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Lint brush
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Mirror
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Mouth wash
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Nail clippers
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Pair of dress socks
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Prescription medication
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Safety pins
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Scissors
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Shoe polish and brush
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Stain remover
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Static cling spray
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Sunglasses
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Sunscreen
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Super glue
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Toothbrush
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Toothpaste
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Travel sewing kit
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Watch
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Wedding party phone numbers
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White undershirt
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Be a Chauffeur.
Pick up the groom, and take him to the ceremony.
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Be ready for pictures.
Arrive 4 hours before the ceremony to get dressed (if you're planning to come dressed, then getting there at least 3 hours before the ceremony should be fine). The timing for pictures will depend on whether the bride and groom are going to see each other before or after she walks down the aisle. If they wait, then there will be more pictures right after the ceremony. You'll also want to help gather anyone from the family or bridal party who's missing.
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Make sure the groom has:
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Envelopes with all vendor checks
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Hotel reservation information (if applicable)
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Marriage license (the groom may ask you to give this to the officiant)
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Money/traveler’s checks (if applicable)
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Plane/travel tickets (if applicable)
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Pay the Vendors.
Prior to the ceremony, be sure to pay them.
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Have the ring(s).
Make sure you have the bride’s wedding ring before the ceremony starts (you may have the groom’s ring too if maid/matron of honor is not going to hold it).
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Instruct the ring bearer.
Oversee the ring bearer, and make sure he knows what to do. The actual wedding rings should be kept by you and the maid/matron of honor. Only fake ones should be given to the ring bearer.
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Instruct the ushers.
Make sure the ushers are ready to go about a ½ hour before the ceremony begins. Remind them to seat the bride’s family/friends on the left, and the groom’s family/friends on the right. Refer to the usher’s responsibilities for more information.
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Educate the ushers.
Alert ushers as to which family members (parents and grandparents) will be wearing flowers, and to make sure they are not seated before receiving them (more than likely they will be seated as part of the ceremony).
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Assist the ushers.
Have a copy of the seating chart for the ceremony (if applicable) to help ushers as needed.
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Help guests.
If you see someone that needs assistance, be sure to offer your help.
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Get the groom’s gifts to the bride.
Take the card, rose and any other gift to one of the bridesmaids so she can give it to the bride.
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Make sure you and the guys look good.
Check the boutonniere on the groom, yourself and all of the groomsmen to make sure it’s on the left lapel, stem down. The best way to put on the boutonniere with a pin is by:
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Placing the pin under the lapel, and poking it through so the tip of the pin is sticking up on the right side of the boutonniere.
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Run the pin over the front part of the stem and then back through the lapel, as close to the stem as possible (you don’t need to put the pin through the boutonniere, because the tension will keep the stem tight against the lapel).
Ceremony
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Know how to enter.
After the grandparents and parents have been seated, it’s your turn. You may or may not accompany a bridesmaid/matron down the aisle (it’s up to the bride and groom). If you don’t, make your way to the alter directly in front of the groom.
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Stand at the groom’s side.
Line up shoulder to shoulder with the groom to your right.
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Advise him.
Remind the groom to remove his gloves as the bride comes down the aisle (if applicable).
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Have the ring ready.
Give the bride’s wedding ring to the groom when the officiant asks for it (you may have the groom’s ring too if the maid/matron of honor is not going to hold it).
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Know how to exit.
Once the bride and groom have made their exit, extend your arm to the maid/matron of honor, and walk back down the aisle together (you may also be announced into the reception area with the maid/matron of honor).
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Don’t forget to sign.
Be a witness at the signing of the marriage certificate (you will need to sign too).
Reception
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Make your toast.
Give a hilarious, inspiring, loving, memorable toast to the bride and groom.
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Playing emcee.
If you are playing master-of-ceremonies for the night (no DJ), here’s what to do:
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Meet with the wedding planner/day of coordinator for a timeline and any important details (make sure you know how to pronounce everyone’s name).
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Announce the bride and groom as they enter the reception area (if the wedding party is also going to be announced, you’ll need to find someone else to do this part).
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When told, announce that dinner is ready. If it’s a buffet, announce that the bride & groom are to go first, followed by the Bridal Party and then family and friends (may need to excuse individual tables too).
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As guests are finishing their dinner, make an announcement about the toast and cutting of the cake (they are done back to back). Do this about 15 minutes prior.
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Announce the best man (you are first) and the maid/matron of honor toasts. Once you are both finished, ask if anyone else would like to make a toast.
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Announce the first dance, father/daughter dance and mother/son dance (these are usually done back to back).
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About 30 minutes into dancing, announce the bouquet toss followed immediately by the garter toss. Bouquet toss: ask all the single ladies to make their way to the dance floor, and have the bride ready to toss her bouquet (if it seems like the ladies are not responding, ask the bride for some names you can announce. Then, have everyone help you count down (one, two, three) for the toss. Garter toss: have all the single guys make their way to the dance floor, and have the groom ready (with a chair for the bride to sit on). Again, if it seems like the guys are not responding, ask the groom for some names. Then, have everyone help you count down.
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Assist with the gifts.
Make sure all the wedding gifts are in a safe place for the evening. At the end of the reception, help put the gifts into the vehicle that will be taking them home.
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Have fun with the bride and groom.
Decorate their transportation (if it’s not rented).
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Get their stuff ready.
Help the bride and groom with their exit by making sure all their things are in their vehicle.
After The Wedding
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Take care of his formal wear.
Return the groom’s tuxedo/suit to the rental shop, or take it to the cleaners if he owns it.
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Take care of your formal wear.
Return your tuxedo/suit to the rental shop. If it was purchased, take it to the cleaners.
