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Gut Check

“Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they succeed when we love the ones we marry.”
— Tom Mullen (singer/songwriter)

1. Are you getting married because she’s the kind of woman most guys would do anything to be with?
   Having a desirable wife is great, but she shouldn’t be treated as a status symbol. Make sure she is the kind of girl you’d always do anything for.
2. Are you getting married because you now have a good career, nice car and plenty of money?
   Being in a great financial position doesn’t necessary mean the timing is right for that level of commitment.
3. Are you getting married because she always does the things you like to do?
   It is important to enjoy the same kind of activities, but it’s just as important to be with someone who also wants to introduce you to new experiences.
4. Are you getting married because you love her family?
   Although your relationship with her family is important, you’ll be devoted to loving her for the rest of your life, not them.
5. Are you getting married because you’ve been with her for years?
   She may be the right person, but the length of time shouldn’t determine if she’s the right match. Imagine the rest of your life without her, and that will give you a better sense of how strong your love really is.
6. Are you getting married because your parents like her a lot?
   This is a huge plus, but it shouldn’t be the deciding factor when choosing who to spend the rest of your life with.
7. Are you getting married because of a child?
   This is a tough one, but you must consider the environment the child will grow up in. Will your marriage be the model of love that a child deserves?
8. Are you getting married because all your friends are getting married?
   Be patient. Marriage is not about trying to fit in.
9. Are you getting married because you think it would be too hard for her without you there to take care of her?
   It’s not about being the “nice guy” here… marriage is meant to be forever. You’re not doing her or yourself any favors by getting married as an act of generosity.
10. Are you getting married because she lets you do whatever you want until whenever you want, and you just owe it to her?
    The fact that she has this kind of easy-going personality may be great, but it doesn’t mean you should feel obligated to marry her.
11. Are you getting married because there are only a few things she would need to change?
    Although it’s good for you to challenge her in ways that continually build her character, there shouldn’t be an expectation for her to be any different from the day you get married.
12. Are you getting married because you’re afraid of being alone?
    Having that special someone in your life is amazing, but the fear of never finding that person can make you anxious and turn the biggest decision of your life into your biggest mistake.
13. Are you getting married because she is such a good friend?
    Although your wife should ultimately be your best friend, there should also be a strong romantic connection.
14. Are you getting married because you’ve never had any serious arguments?
    Although arguing is never fun, make sure you always share your true feelings. Seeing how you both handle a tough situation can say a lot about the strength of your commitment to the relationship.